A Desociative Microdisorder
Presentation
The primary micropsychological indicator of Seasoning Affective Disorder (SAD) is a craving for well-seasoned and in-season food. Seasoning Affective Disorder is a condition of annual seasoning variations (e.g., Spring: mackerel and pineapple, Summer: eggplant and rhubarb, Fall: venison and pumpkin, Winter: oysters and rutabaga). As seasons and seasonings change, there is a corresponding shift in mammalian metabolism. This can cause those affected with Seasoning Affective Disorder to feel very much out of sorts. When well-seasoned/in-season food items are unavailable or access to them is denied, symptoms of depression, anxiety, decreased libido, lethargy, apnea and eczema intercede.
While Seasoning Affective Disorder can and does occur in all corners of the world, two-thirds of Seasoning Affective Disorder sufferers are high-income working women over the age of 45, living in North America. Moreover, developing research suggests that its prevalence is inversely related a person’s access to Mexican restaurants, especially those serving both red and green fresh chili.
A craving for well-seasoned/in-season food may also indicate modified cerebral activity or vitamin B11 deficiency. Notably, approximately one in five people diagnosed with SAD also suffers from Edible Complex.
Management
Spice therapy is used extensively in treating Seasoning Affective Disorder. Botanical spices (e.g., black pepper, fennel, mustard, nutmeg) that are found in local markets can, in most cases, be effective in relieving symptoms. In more challenging cases, the Trinidad Scorpion Moruga pepper has been shown to be useful. And in the most extreme cases, patients have responded to multiple exposure to audio recordings of the Spice Girls, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and/or the Four Seasons.
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