A Desociative Microdisorder
Presentation
Projectile Dysfunction is a complex, deep-seated microdisorder that, in its physical manifestation, either (a) disallows an affected person to gather sufficient sputum necessary to expectorate or (b) prevents that person from expelling spittle from her mouth, or (c) both.
With the exception of certain populations living within three mile radii of liquor/package stores, Projectile Dysfunction affects most North American females over the age 14. Moreover, unlike it’s pathological rhyming cousin Erectile Dysfunction, it is rarely reported to occur among males in general and never among baseball players, fishermen, hunters, rodeo attendees, “right-to-carry” permit holders, or serious NASCAR fans.
NOTE: Projectile Dysfunction (PD) is sometimes called Expectorant Dysfunction, or ED. This has lead to DSM coding errors that have resulted in the denial of insurance coverage for many patients.
Management
Devices are now available that can overcome the causes of Projectile Dysfunction and re-sensitize its sufferers. These devices not only allow patients the ability to discharge significant amounts of phlegm and mucus orally but to do so with extreme location accuracy.
Click here to review a case study of Projectile Dysfunction.
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