Microdisorders (to date)
Apartment Complex
Apartment Complex
Taking its name from a 1960 Hollywood movie staring Jack Lemmon, Shirley MacLaine and Fred MacMurray, the Apartment Complex is a disorder that includes headaches, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, heavy use of deodorant, stockpiling of canned vegetables and, in extreme cases, an overwhelming desire to visit museums ending in the letter "p." The Apartment Complex is highly correlated with, and many professionals believe caused by, employment in the U.S. financial sector, where compromising of moral values is common.
Note: The "Apartment Complex" is not associated with the "apartment complex" [lower case], so well known to young adults and all Hollywood actors/restaurant workers.
TREATMENT
Though the results have been spotty, there appears to be hope for Apartment Complex sufferers willing to relocate to rural areas. Preliminary studies suggest that the greater the distance between a sufferer and New York City, the more likely a recovery.
Bââd Haradäë Disorder
Bââd Haradäë Disorder is characterized by a perception that one's coiffure is inappropriately managed to the extent that displaying it in public would reflect adversely on that person. At one time or another almost everyone* experiences, to a greater or lesser extent, symptoms associated with Bââd Haradäë disorder.
Among all currently identified microdisorders, Bââd Haradäë Disorder is by far the most common. Not only was it the nexus microdisorder opening up the entire field of micropsychology (see A Brief History), but it is so common that it has become the "poster microdisorder" for micropsychology.
TREATMENT
Bââd Haradäë Disorder generally disappears, without intervention, after only a few hours. More severe cases—those which persist longer than a few days—may require consultation with a professional trained in this area. The use of clothing made of Perceptowear is also effective.
Note: Over the years, "Bââd Haradäë Disorder" has been Anglicized to "bad hair day disorder" or simply "bad hair day."
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*As the incidence of male pattern baldness increases, the symptoms of Bââd Haradäë Disorder decline accordingly.
Correctanoia
Correctanoia is a condition that causes mild to severe anxiety in people who just can't stand it when other people in their presence make minor errors such as offering incomplete or inaccurate directions, citing an incorrect date, providing erroneous measurements, mispronouncing a word, or the like. To alleviate the anxiety, the Correctanoic feels obligated, if not compelled, to set right the person committing the error, no matter how minor that faux pas might be.
In many cases, unfortunately, correcting a person's error only exacerbates the problem causing the error to become fixed rather than corrected so that it is more, rather than less likely to be repeated. In turn this exacerbates the situation until there is a total break in any relationship that may have been present between the person-in-error and the correctanoic.
Nearly four percent of the adult population is afflicted with Correctanoia. Most sufferers reside in America on Long Island in the state of New York.
TREATMENT
Correctanoia can be successfully treated through enrollment in any one of several de-education programs offered throughout North America and Europe. Columbus University, for example offers a program called UNTELLIGENCE, wherein Correctanoics learn to ignore truths, accept myths and overlook facts.
Disconnectopathy
Disconnectopathy is manifested as worry brought on by the belief that one is losing relationships with peer members due to even the briefest period of dislocation. Symptoms are frequent telephone conversations, habitual texting and the sending of numerous emails to other members of the group. Moreover, a 30 minute delay in the receipt of a telephone call, a text message, or an email will result in serious anxiety in the Disconnectopath.
A serious physical side effect of Disconnectopathy is the early onset of postural kyphosis due to the number of electronic communication devices carried as well as the spare batteries to power them.
Disconnectopathy presents itself mostly in girls between the ages of 11 and 19 years old. On the other hand, it is rare to find Disconnectopathy among those of either gender over the age of 72.
TREATMENT
A common mistake in treating Disconnectopathy is to provide the patient with means to stay in frequent contact with his or her peers. In actuality, however, this only prolongs and intensifies the symptoms. The most effective treatment seems to be just the opposite—removing all means of communication. Though radical in approach and difficult in execution, this treatment has shown to be the most successful—effective in over 83 percent of the patients who completed treatment. (See Jean-Paul Dupeau's book, Just Stop, on treating this and other microdisorders.)
Gulliver's Complaint
Gulliver's Complaint is so named after the Jonathan Swift novel wherein the protagonist, who after being shipwrecked on the shores of a foreign country, meets up with some rather small and nasty citizens of Lilliput. And although the difficulties of travel today are nowhere near those which Capt. Lemuel Gulliver encountered, today's travelers do find themselves in mildly irritating situations which, under the right circumstances foisted upon the right personalities, can explode into a microdisorder of alarming proportions.
There are possibly thousands of circumstances which can lead to Gulliver's Complaint: cancelled flights, abrasive taxi drivers, noisy hotel rooms, surly rental-car agents, rude waiters.... The list goes on and on. And though the trigger agents may differ, the responses of Gulliver's Complaint are nearly always the same: increased heart rate and blood pressure accompanied by belligerence and hostility.
TREATMENT
Recently some services have been made available for the treatment of Gulliver's Complaint. Most patients report finding significant relief in these services. However, the only guaranteed treatment for Gulliver's Complaint is a complete travelectomy.
Melodosis
Listening to music can be soothing, but when a tune gets "stuck" in one's mind, it can lead to Melodosis, a microdisorder similar to "earworms" ("ohrwurms" in Germany). The cause of Melodisis is unknown but is theorized to involve the auditory cortex, wherein repeated songs become musical memories. Unlike many repeated mental activities, songs repeated in this way become entrenched rather than habituated.
Melodosis appears to strike more women than men and is found mostly in middle-aged patients.
TREATMENT
Participation in high-attention, physical activities such as racquetball, bowling, table tennis and pole vaulting seem to attenuate the symptoms of melodosis. On the other hand, participation in low-attention, physical activities such as weight-lifting, running, tennis and golf has no significant effect on reducing melodosis.
Some patients with severe Melodosis have been shown to respond to moderate doses of cinnamon extract. Others have reported that listening to Louie Louie by The Kingsman, a song containing few comprehensible lyrics, can "unstick" a repeating melody. The treatment that has proven to be the most effective, however, is the presentation, in its entirety, of William Shatner singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. (WARNING: When applying this treatment, caution is recommended due to its many and more macropsychological side effects.)
Promptnia
Promptnia, sometimes referred to as punctuality anxiety, is caused by the influence of social norms upon a person's perception of the appropriate temporal match between a scheduled event and that person's appearance at that event. Promptnia can be manifested in either of two forms, Antecedent Promptnia and Postcedent Promptnia.
Antecedent Promptnia is triggered when a person believes that he or she must appear on time for, or in advance of a scheduled event (e.g., doctor's appointment, meeting with a client). Anxiety comes from knowing that appointments are generally scheduled in advance of actual meeting times so that one will most likely have to sit and cool his or her jets for 20 minutes.
Postcedent Promptnia is popularly known as "fashionably late." It is elicited when the scheduled or "official" start of an event stands in contradiction to the "expected" onset of that event as determined by cultural norms as well as the social status of the event-goer. For example, when an "average Joe" is invited to a party of celebrities, he doesn't want to appear overly eager (which he is) to meet the luminaries (which he desperately wants to do) so he plans to arrive "fashionably late," even if it means sitting in a taxi for an extra 20 minutes.
With the exception of people employed in the "trades" (e.g., plumbers, painters, cable installers) where it is completely absent, Antecedent Promptnia is twice as common in the adult population as postcedent promptnia.
TREATMENT
To date, no long-term therapies have shown promise in the treatment of Promptnia.
Zact's Malady
Ignacio Zact was a fifteenth century mathematician consumed with the notion of describing physical phenomena in measurements that were as precise as possible. (Indeed the root of the English word "exact" is derived from his name.) However, although his measurements were "exact," they were just as often inaccurate. For instance Zact measured the shortest distance across the English Channel (between South Foreland and Cap Gris Nez) to be 41.955473711 km at mean high tide, a precise measurement to be sure. However the actual distance is closer to 34 km.
Nevertheless Iggy, as he was known to his friends, insisted that measurements, whether they be of space, time or mass, be ever more acute. Late in his life he would become enraged at those who casually referred to measurements as "approximately" or "about" or especially "more-or-less."
Those with Zact's Malady are known for being precise without being accurate. In conversation, they are easily disturbed by information cited that is not precise and detailed—even if that information is incorrect.
Related to Correctonia, Zact's Malady is a difficult microdisorder to diagnosis because it requires in-depth knowledge of subject matter that is usually better known by the patient than the diagnostician.
TREATMENT
The treatment of Zact's Malady has been difficult until recently. Now, a company called RoundOff has developed a smartphone application that teaches people how to approximate precise values. For example, with a user's phone activated and the application running, a loud auditory signal is delivered when a string of numbers is detected, reminding the user that an acceptable limit of precision has been reached. Depending on the patient's stage of recovery, the signal can be adjusted to the number of digits detected in a string.
We need your assistance
Micropsychology is a very new field of study and treatment. Consequently microdisorders are being identified all the time. If you know of any that we should be researching for inclusion into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Microdisorders (DSMM), let us know.