Case studies of microdisorders
Charcelle (age 27),
Paris, France
Diagnosis: Gulliver's Complaint
As an international icon of the women's fashion industry, designer Charcelle travels frequently—and in style. Accustomed to efficient, first-class treatment, she has little patience for incompetence.
However, on a recent trip to Singapore, that is exactly what she faced time and time again for the entire week that she was on the road. Eventually, as she was boarding her return flight, she reached her boiling point.
There, she was informed that the special meal that she had ordered—crosscut sheared cheuonstelle salad, extra rare Kobe beef filet served at exactly 38° C, sauteed Polynesian asparagus tips with Monttielle dressing, and white chocolate Poncee Moustal dessert—would not be available.
Without much warning, she began exhibiting the classic symptomology of Gulliver's Compliant disorder. But before security officers were dispatched to the scene, several of Charcelle's minions convinced her to visit an Emotional Release Station located in the terminal.
The 45 minutes that Charcelle spent in the station resulted in quite a drastic change in her demeanor, as can be seen in the "Before" photo above captured on security surveillance video as she entered the station compared to the to the "After" photo that was extracted from the video of passengers preparing for departure.
The change in her attitude and consequent behavior was, according to people familiar with the incident, "phenomenal."
Glenn (age 54), Indialantic, Florida, USA
Diagnosis: Zact's Malady
Most people who are knowledgeable in the area generally report the distance between the earth and the moon to be "about 384,000 km." Glenn, a true expert in interplanetary distances, however, would likely say, "The distance from the center of the earth to the center of the moon varies due to the elliptical orbit of the moon around the earth. At its perigee the distance is 341,164.3772 km; at its apogee 412,907.8544 km."
Precise? Yes. Accurate? Not so much. In fact at the perigee, the earth and moon are 363,104 km apart; at the apogee, 405,696 km.
For the most part, Glenn's "precise inaccuracies" are merely mildly off-putting to his friends and colleagues. However, Glenn's anxiety can build to intolerable levels when he receives inexact information, regardless of its accuracy.
Currently, Glenn is on sabbatical and undergoing treatment for Zact's Malady at the West Texas Center for the Treatment of Microdisorders.
Phillip (71 years old), Hollywood, California, USA
Diagnosis: Bââd Haradäë Disorder
In the fall of 2008, Phillip needed help. He had been convicted of murder. His team of attorneys decided that a change of appearance was needed during the sentencing phase of the trial.
At about the same time, research on Bââd Haradäë disorder conducted at Chase University was beginning to strongly suggest that physically attractive defendants were treated more sympathetically than unattractive defendants. Relying on this research, during sentencing Phillip's attorneys dressed him in a loose fitting shirt made of Perceptowear.
It worked... sort of. Post-sentencing interviews of the jurors found that they did indeed find Phillip a more sympathetic figure than they did during the trial. However, they also found him to appear much younger than his 71 years and therefore gave him a more significant sentence than they would have to an older appearing man.
Phillip is currently serving out his 19-years-to-life sentence at the California State Prison in Yuba City where he spends his days working in the prison's salon.
Yolanda (age 47) Montevideo, Uruguay
Diagnosis: Melodosis
In February of 1999, Yolanda and her friends visited Las Vegas on holiday. While there, they attended a Wayne Newton (aka "Mr. Las Vegas") stage show at the Stardust Hotel. Ever since that evening, Yolanda has suffered one of the most persistent cases of Melodosis on record.
For over a decade, Yolanda woke up every morning singing Danke Schoën. She tried cognitive therapy, hypnotherapy and aromatherapy. She consulted with several memory specialists. She even sought out the advice of a Yemen shaman. Nothing worked to remove that tune from her head.
Then in 2010, a friend put her in touch with Dr. Ronald Yeabetz at the Royal University Hospital in Sydney. She subsequently traveled to Australia, where she received a single exposure to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds sung by William Shatner. She has been symptom-free ever since.