Case Study of False Mammary Syndrome

Wilson (age 26), Story City, Iowa, USA

While vacationing in Salt Lake City*, shortly after his fourth divorce, Wilson was afflicted with False Mammary Syndrome. There, at a church potluck, he met his current girlfriend, Kimberly (not her real name). She was on-leave from her job as a dancer at the Airstrip, a strip club located at Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City. Kimberly had just been discharged from St. Mark’s Hospital after undergoing dual-double breast augmentation surgery.


From the very moment that Wilson met Kimberly, he couldn’t keep his eyes — and soon after that, his hands — off of her. Kimberly enjoyed the enhanced attention (as is apparent from the accompanying photo that the couple selected for their Holiday Card) and thereby served as an enabler of the syndrome. Following a particularly nasty flareup of the syndrome during Christmas services at the Southern Hills Baptist Church in Wimberly Falls, West Virginia, the couple decided to seek immediate counseling in nearby Stropaplis.

Today, Wilson and Kimberly have set up residence in Story City, Iowa where Wilson is in an on-line therapy maintenance program provided through The American University in London. Kimberly is working part-time as the “weather girl” at KRMM television in nearby Ames.

* According to
Forbes, Salt Lake City has the highest per capita population of cosmetic surgeons in the United States, making it the vainest city in the America.

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